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By Simply Starting

9/15/2015

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Do you ever wish for others to walk in your shoes? Do you secretly hope they could see your hardships, struggles, pressures and challenges you face every day? If only they knew the daily grind that occupies your world, then perhaps they would understand you better, perhaps they would have a greater appreciation. I’m talking about your responsibilities with your kids, spouse, relatives, job, home, yard, car, education, etc. I’m talking about the morning frenzy, child care, pet care, and the unrealistic demands at work. I’m talking about the sprint of mealtimes, helping your kids with homework, doing more work at night to meet client deadlines, and then trying to sleep so you can do it all again the next day. It can be endless, taxing, and tiring. Now, throw in unexpected setbacks, the unplanned obstacles that slow or restrict your progress or, worse, force you to change your planned life course. I’m talking about an injury or accident, a devastating medical diagnosis, money worries, or legal issues. We ALL face such pressures and crises, yet rarely share their deep and lasting impact, which can be overwhelming for anyone.

Now, add Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, LinkedIn, or any other social media network where life appears fluid, seamless, and rosy with every scroll, swipe, or finger touch. Consider your thoughts when you see photographs of selfies, smiles, and feet propped high. Do you think how lucky? How fortunate? Do you wonder why your life is so challenging, but not theirs? Do you wonder why setbacks only happen to you? It's enough to drive you insane, if it hasn’t already.

I have no doubt we enjoy seeing “everyone else” have a great time. Who wouldn’t want to see their family, friends, or acquaintances enjoy life to the fullest? That would be petty or selfish, otherwise. Similarly, who wouldn’t want you to lead a full life? Everyone loves to hear about a trip to the beach or a brush with celebrity or a kid’s school or sports success. It's a natural curiosity.

But, it’s the other side of our lives, the side rarely seen, that needs more of our attention.

Too often, we focus on life’s fantasy while missing the forest for the trees. Too often, we are blind to realize that EVERYONE deals with life challenges, some tragic. Too often, we fail to understand or see our neighbor’s silent struggle. Sicknesses, debts, failures, accidents, loneliness, joblessness, drug addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, broken hearts, lost loves, death…it’s all there, often unspoken, exhausting, and right next door.

It's not that we don’t care. It's that we often don’t know.

Ask yourself. What challenges are your neighbors dealing with RIGHT NOW? Do you know their hopes and fears? Are you aware of their current health condition, and how they may be worried or scared beyond themselves for what the future may hold? Do you know if one of their relatives has entered hospice care? Do you stop to consider that perhaps a reason you haven’t seen them in a while is not because of a busy lifestyle, but because they have been getting treatments for a serious health issue? Do you stop to consider that perhaps they could use a hand, an ear to vent or confide in, or a shoulder to cry on?

I ask these questions because I believe THAT is where we should focus. We should concern less on the illusion and more on the reality. We should realize our similarity and less our difference. We should be there for one another, if only to listen.

Life is hard, but we can make it so much better by simply starting a conversation.


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